Light in the Darkness

Our world seems to live every day in the dark. There is a search for meaning, hope, a hero in the hearts of the people all around us, and sadly a few have given up and are willing to exist in the darkness, not even trying to find a way out.

It is into this same kind of culture that the Light burst forth 2000 years ago. How bright the light of Christ appears in such a dark world. The darkness that we now live in is the perfect place to bring forth the Light.

Take heart my friends, we are the hope. It is to us that Jesus gave the great commission. God into ALL the world and make disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and I am with you ALWAYS even to the end of the age.

Jesus totally knew that Twilight would claim the hearts of His daughters; that movies like Transformers would present lustful images to His sons taking them to places of desire they should not be taken to; that the youngest among us would be fed a line of hopelessness from a movie about Wild Things.

It is into this age that He chose for you and me to live, and it is those of us who hold the name Christian that He chose to bring the light into the darkness. Don’t get me wrong, we are sooooo flying upside down, but we have the knowledge that our Savior lives and that He is at work all around us.

Paul experienced life just like we do at times. When he walked into one of the most immoral city in the Roman Empire, the city of Corinth, the Bible says that he entered with fear and trembling. Now this was not a metaphor for how he kind of felt inside. No, Paul was physically shaking when he entered the city gates. He was all alone at the time. Silas and Timothy were still hanging out in Berea, and Paul had just left Athens, failing to see the Spirit move among the people of that great city even after he delivered one of his most eloquent messages.

Paul felt rather useless when he entered Corinth, but he did something that a lot of us DON’T do when we feel we have failed. He surrendered his life fully to Christ, to know nothing except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. No too often, when we feel that God has not used us, we withdraw, go into a hole, take our toys and go home. But not Paul. He sought more of Jesus and kept going, not worrying about the result.

Corinth was the home of the cult of Aphrodite, the Greek god of love and lust, because of this the city was filled with sexual immorality. One of the ways that the Greeks worshipped at the temple of certain gods was through temple prostitution. It was into a very dark world, filled with immorality and idolatry, Paul walked into when he entered the gates of Corinth. Yet, through his faithful preaching and teaching and that of other men of God, the city was forever changed as the Light of Christ entered its streets.

Every day we have the chance to walk into Corinth. Kids are put in our paths who think that salvation means picking up the trash in the neighborhood to help save the planet. They need to know that work is good, but it isn’t the answer to eternity. They need to be loved for who they are, and shown Jesus.

There are teenager girls dying to talk to us about how wonderful Edward is, so we need to engage them. We need to say, “Ya, Edward’s cool, but he isn’t real, and even if he were his salvation is death, but there is someone so much more wonderful, who loves you and defeated death. Jesus is the answer to all your heart’s desire.”

There are young men so captivated by the images on a screen, that they live lives no different from those who once worshiped at the altar of Aphrodite. They can't have a real relationship with a woman because they have been made to feel less than as men. These young men need to experience the love of God, and then their lives can be saved.

The world seems so dark at times that I just want to keep the doors locked. I don’t want to be faithful to anyone but my own little family, to keep it safe from all the wrong in our culture, but that is not how we are suppose to live. We are to be lights in the darkness, to stand up for the innocent, to share the love of Jesus in the smallest way to every person we meet, and who knows, that Light might hit just one person's heart and drive the darkness out! So, if you are sad about what is going on all around us, know that He has chosen you for just this moment in time. Take heart, He has overcome the world.

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart!

I have OVERCOME the World.

John 16:33

Flying Upside Down

A whole generation of girls believes the greatest men of our day, are a 90 year old vampire, who looks nineteen and a teenage werewolf. Girls (and not just girls) swoon at the thought of knowing men like them. They have no repulsion toward the bloodletting that one of the characters indulges in, nor do they recoil at the idea of a wolf sleeping with a woman. Their hearts throb in anticipation as a vampire sneaks into the room of a girl their own age every night without anyone knowing, and they don’t even seem a little bothered by the werewolves “imprinting” on little girls.

Our world seems to be flying upside down, as Dallas Willard pointed out in his book The Divine Conspiracy. And the sad thing is that the culture doesn’t even care, because there is not right side up. There is an emptiness, and a searching among us. Yet we are looking and searching in the dark, finding the darkest things to cling onto for survival, longing for some supernatural being to save us from our mundane existence and add excitement to our lives. Thing is, that Supernatural Being died and rose again 2000 years ago to save us, yet we ignore Him in favor of the "undead".

Funny, we are even willing to embrace someone else’s vision to gain our own hope of salvation. That is right, Stephanie Meyer had a dream about a vampire that led her to write the Twilight series, and through that dream came T-shirts, and discussion groups, and pilgrimages to the small town of Forks in Washington State.

At least in the pages of the Twilight books, there is the hope of some sort of redemption. One that is seriously misguided, with eternal damnation as the end result, if by some strange happening death might actually take a vampire’s “life”, but still it is there.

Sadly, I have discovered that there is a part of the world that does not even have a false savior to give them hope. Part of the world is living in such utter darkness that they don’t even believe that there is a way out of the bleakness of human existence. They visit a place called Where the Wild Things Are, and discover there is no redeemer, there is no better tomorrow, there is only pain and sorrow.

If you are not familiar with Where the Wild Things Are, it is a very short children’s book, about a boy who visits an island inhabited by fantastic creatures called the “Wild Things”. That said the short children’s book has recently been transformed into a motion picture, in which a boy filled with anger and rage flees to the Wild Things, and discovers that they are just as angry and destructive as the place of pain that fills his own heart. He promises them that he will be their king and save them from sadness and pain with his invisible shield, but in the end, they discover that he is a fraud and all their hope for happiness is dashed when he fails to save them from themselves. The boy returns home to his own mother, his own family, with the simple words spoke to or by one of the unhappy Wild Things, “It’s hard to be a family.”

There is no redemption just the reality of the joyless, hopelessness of life to endure until death. That, in the end, is the takeaway the movie leaves the audience. I left the theater utterly depressed, thankful that the sun was out in all of its Arizona glory, and that the Son of God reigns in all of His.

I have always told my children that no matter what story, what movie, what book, or play, that I can find Jesus in it in some aspect or another. But I told them that I was wrong. There was NO redeemer in Where the Wild Things Are. When the Son is absent, then too is His light and all that is left is darkness.

When a vampire is the hero of the young, and a movie for kids is filled with so much “realism” that they leave the theaters in quiet contemplation, we know we are flying upside down, about to take a nosedive into the earth.

The postmodern age looks to darkness for redemption and when it does not find it there, it falls into despair.

The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. He was in the world, and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him. He came to that which was His own, but His own did not receive Him.

Even within the walls and halls of our own churches, a generation is looking to darkness to redeem them. Will we be like the generation Jesus first came to, the one who crucified Him, who were His own, but did not recognize Him because He came as Light.

In Him was LIFE and that LIFE was the LIGHT of MEN!

JOHN 1

Genie in a Bottle, Not

We often see Jesus as a genie in a lamp. We rub the lamp through prayer. We ask for our three wishes so that we can have an abundant life, free from pain and filled with prosperity. We pray in the name of Jesus, and claim all manner of things. We forget prayer is not a magic wand we wave to get what we want. It is instead a means to build relationship with God.

If our child walks up and demands this or that, in a tone of entitlement, we are much less likely to give them what they have so ungraciously asked for. If our kids only talk to us when they want something, or when they get into trouble, we are far less likely to give them what they think they want or lessen their punishment. But if we are in relationship with our kids, if they tell us about their day, the friends they have, how they did on their math test, what they are struggling with in life, what their passions are, who they need help learning to love, we are far more likely to give them what they want. When constant conversation is in place, our kids don’t have to demand their wants, nor subvert our authority when they are in trouble. No, when there is relationship then their wants are known and often given freely. When there is a bond of love, the discipline for misbehavior is consistent, loving, and given with mercy as well as justice.

When we know our kids, and they share their lives with us, then there is respect on both sides not a demanding, spoiled brat, speaking to a parent. When our kids have gratitude for what we are able to give them, then it is much more enjoyable to give them more. So too our Father loves us and wants to pour out abundant blessings in our lives, but He doesn’t want those blessings to be demanded. He wants to freely give to us what is best for us. But if all we do is feel entitled, then we won’t pray to know our Father but instead to get what we want from Him.
If you never talk to those you love, can you really love them? If you never listen to your friends, can you really know them? So too, if you never talk to or listen to your Father, you will never be able to really love Him, you will never be able to truly know Him.

All the things we think we need are worthless without the surpassing knowledge of knowing Jesus.

We often pray for God to remove us from our trials, but in my life, the trial actually produces the fruit. For some reason, we believe that we should have a life free from pain, and if we name our demand and claim it from God, He has to grant our request. I am not sure when the teaching on what it means to be a Christian became so misguided, however. Christ suffered. He asked three times for the Father to take away the need for the cross, but in the end, Jesus surrendered Himself to His Father’s will. We are to follow Christ’s example. We are to identify with Him in our sufferings. It is through His suffering that we know Him most deeply. Apart from Him, apart from what He suffered for us on the cross, we can do nothing. If God does not remove our suffering, it is not because He does not love us, but because His greater purpose needs to be fulfilled in our lives.

The way we can know His love, His will, His heart for us is through a constant attitude of prayer. Not demanding our way, not rubbing the mystical lamp of prayer, but by talking to our God, and sharing our heart with Him. He might not decide to give us a new car, nor take away our pain when we want Him to, but He will walk with us through it all.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, our Lord. Philippians 4:6-7

Knots

My bad mothering actually led to this post. Last night, as we were coming home from somewhere, my oldest daughter said, “Mom, my hair feels so smooth.”

I said, “That is what happens when you brush it every day.”

She then said, “Sometimes when I have knots in my hair it feels like I have a cushion to lay my head on, but with smooth hair it doesn’t feel that way.”

I had to laugh. She is ten and would rather have her knotted cushion at times than the pain of a good hair brushing, and there are days I would rather her have knots than have to endure the whining and crying that go along with detangling her beautiful, brown hair. I honestly do not like inflicting pain on my children on a daily basis, but without the daily pain, the knots that build up get larger and harder to deal with, leading to a much greater and deeper pain later on down the road.

After the conversation in the car with my daughter, I began thinking about her hair and the knots. It is hard to be consistent in parenting, sometimes it feels easier, more merciful to let something go…to let some behavior go unaddressed, so I don’t have to hear the complaining or deal with the crying that can go along with discipline. I have found out though that avoiding misbehavior, okay let’s just call it what it is, sin, leads to even greater and deeper pain in the long run.

If I let my kids speak to me in a disrespectful manner one time, they will continue that behavior (sin/bad-habits are much easier to make than good ones are) until I stop them. It will be a much greater struggle to stop them six times later, than had I done it the first time around. Plus, allowing their disrespect unchecked always causes a counter disrespect in me. I end up responding to my kids in sarcasm at times, which is sin, and a tit for tat relationship begins instead of the much more mature and healthy parent-child relationship that should exist between me and my children.

Too often our "knots" get bigger, and become comfortable cushions. We don’t want to deal with the pain it will take to brush them out, so we deal with the sin longer than we should. It is only when our appearance becomes a concern that we tend to try to work though our knots in order to make ourselves presentable.

It is at the point when the neighbors down the street can hear me arguing back and forth with my kids out our open windows, I realize that I better become the parent instead of the adolescent kid trading barbs with my 12 year old. Why isn’t it enough to know that I should behave as the parent all the time? More importantly, why am I not motivated by a desire to reveal Christ to my kids? Sometimes I frustrates myself to no end.

We sure complain a lot about peer pressure, but we must need it because it is defiantly a tool that God has set up to bring about change in our lives. It gives us that audience we need to impress, and it helps us brush out the knots we have allowed to become our comfortable cushions in life.

The next time you are feeling like you just don’t want to brush the knots out, remember that the more they build up the bigger they get, and the more painful they are to brush out down the road. Consistent care of our kid's hearts, as well as our own, may not be easy, but brushing out the knots in our attitudes will smooth out all of our lives.

Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1b-2

Extravagant Love

On Sunday, Lloyd preached about the love of a father, a father who opened his arms to his prodigal son. Jesus used this father as an example of the extravagant love our Heavenly Father has for each of us.

Have you ever really sat and thought about how much our Heavenly Father loves you? Have you experienced His love and care for you like that prodigal who came home to the warm embrace of his father? What does that kind of love look like?

Last summer, Darren Norman presented a message that was challenging and moving all at the same time. It was about being an overcomer, and truly believing Phil. 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengths me. He concluded his message by showing a video of two men who have overcome great physical odds. These men are known as Team Hoyt, and they participated in triathlons.

If you know anything about triathlons, you can understand why Darren ended his message about being able to do all things with a video of an actual triathlon. And for those of you, who have only heard of this event, well let me give you the details of what those who actually compete accomplish. An Iron Man triathlon consists of a swim of 2.4 miles, followed immediately by a 112 miles bike, and concluding with a 26.2 mile run (a full marathon).

I can’t even imagine the kind of endurance needed for one of these races. I couldn’t walk as far as they run, let alone perform all three events one after another. These athletes know the meaning of endurance, perseverance and discipline, but for Team Hoyt, another and even deeper character trait has been added, LOVE.

You see, Team Hoyt consists of two individuals racing as one, Rick and Dick Hoyt. Rick Hoyt suffered severe brain damage at birth. He is unable to walk, has little to no use of his arms or hands, is unable to speak and has minimal control of his head and neck. Rick is able to communicate however. He has a computer that allows him to click a mouse and spell out his thoughts and wishes. Rick found out there was going to be a race in his community to raise money for a young man who had become paralyzed. He told his dad that he wanted to run in that race. His father, Dick Hoyt, wondered how to make that happen for his son. He decided to run in that race pushing Rick. Rick told his dad following that event, “When we were running, I felt like I was not disabled anymore.” When Dick heard that, he determined to continue running with his son, and run they did. Dick and Rick have run in 85 marathons, and completed eight triathlons together. Rick was born in 1962, making him 44 years old, and his dad is twenty years older than he is!

As I sat and watched the video Darren showed of one of the triathlons, I cried, as did my husband. I am sure there was not a dry eye in the house that morning, as we watched a father’s absolute devotion poured out on to his son. Dick Hoyt, pulled, carried and pushed his son for 140.6 miles simply because he loved him. Hoyt video clip link:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4642920755415594672

I cried that morning for many reasons. I sat next to my husband, knowing as I watched that he would do the exact same thing for our children; loving him for loving us.

I also understood as I watched that I had finally seen in a visual sense the love that our Father demonstrates to us on a moment-by-moment basis. We are no different from Rick Hoyt in our inability to carry ourselves. We are all disabled by the sin that fills our bodies and overwhelms our lives. And, just as Dick Hoyt saw the freedom that running gave to his son, our Father sees the freedom His Son gives to each one of us. He did not leave us alone. No, instead He gave all of Himself to us, and does so on a daily basis through the sacrifice of Jesus.

If today you are in a circumstance that seems as if it will conquer you, know that your loving Father is not far from you. Our Father swims us through every trial that threatens to engulf us. He carries us as we ride over every bumpy road that attempts to cause us to stumble. He pushes us as we run the race that He has set before us. So no matter the trail you face, nor sin that stumbles, nor pain that hinders, He is right there with you. Remember Dick Hoyt the next time you are in a place of pain, allowing his love to remind you of your Father’s extravagant love.
Your Father knows what you need even before you ask Him. Matt. 6:8

Motive

I have this never-ending battle with myself every time I leave the grocery store pushing a cart. Do I walk the ten yards to the cart return area, or do I leave the cart parked nicely in a place that leaves room for others to park their cars? There are times that the “park the cart” voice wins out. It usually prevails when I am in a hurry, tired or just kind of in a bad mood.

The “return the cart” voice is usually the stronger of the two voices, however. It has a much bigger hammer. That voice motivates through guilt, saying such things as, “Well, if you leave the cart here, the wind might blow it into another car causing damage “or “You are the one always complaining about how bad the Wal-mart parking lot looks when everyone leaves their carts everywhere”. But, the most effective argument of all says, “A good Christian would walk the extra few steps to ensure that they don’t hurt their testimony, and who knows who is watching, maybe the cart attendant will be blessed and come to Jesus because you did the right thing.”

You can see why the “return” voice wins out most of the time. My decision to return the cart to its proper place could determine someone’s eternal destiny, so I HAVE to return it to the correct drop-off location.

As I write these words, I have to shake my head and laugh. Too often, I am driven by guilt instead of the motivator that should guide every step of my life, love. Love for Jesus should be my greatest motivation but sadly, it is not. No, the strongest motivation in my life tends to be vain conceit.

I was considering why this is the case; not just for me but for all human beings. We all do the things that we do for our personal good. Honestly, are we ever truly selfless, or are we always looking out for our best interests, even when we do the right thing.

Jesus knew the answer to that question. He nailed humanity. He knew that we could not even do the kindest act without looking for praise. He told His disciples, when they gave not to let their left hand know what their right was doing.

He explained that if they were going to fast in order to have deeper fellowship with the Father that they should not make a big deal out of it. They shouldn’t walk around the city moaning or complaining, looking all pitiful, drawing attention to themselves for being so pious. Jesus said, “If you’re going to fast, wash your face, comb your hair, put on clean clothes and don’t tell anyone what you’re doing.”

Can you believe it; we even become proud when we pray. Jesus taught that we should not hang out all day offering these long-winded prayers for everyone to hear, but if we really wanted to pray that we should stay home, in our closet, shut the door and pray with no one around to hear. We should actually talk to God, not just look holy, we should actually be holy.

Jesus knew/knows our hearts. He knows that we do not tend to do anything without thinking about what we will get out of it. How our actions will benefit us.

We are taught some wonderful life principles in church, like not stealing, cheating, lying. We are instructed to forgive, to give, and to care for others, but if we do these things simply because we want to live as “good Christians” we have missed the point. It is not out of self-preservation that we should apply these precepts to our lives. We should not try to live as outstanding citizens simply to be outstanding citizens, because if we are doing that then all we want is glory and honor for ourselves. If we live as Christians, so we appear to be Christians, then we are no different from the Pharisees Jesus confronted. They “looked” good on the outside, but Jesus called them “white washed tombs”. We too can appear as if we have it all together on the outside, yet be empty or devoid of true righteousness (rightness before God).

If, however, our motivation comes from loving Jesus, wanting to please Him, then we would not wrestle nearly as much as we do with doing the right thing. Our focus, our heartbeat would be to bring Him glory and honor, not ourselves. We would not look over our shoulder to see who was watching us park the cart, because we KNOW who lives within us and whom we serve. Jesus as our center does not leave much room for self.

So, the next time you’re struggling with something, you might want to check your motives. Are you struggling because of some wrong desire within yourself, the desire to appear to be something or someone? The problem with checking our own motives is the fact that, “The heart is deceitful above all else, who can know it?”

We cannot even know our own hearts, our own motivations, and that is why the Psalmist in Psalm 139:23-24 said, “Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Only our God can reveal to us our motivation, and only He can give us the right one; one that draws attention to Him and not ourselves.

I figure that the cart attendant's salvation does NOT depend on my decision to nicely park the cart or return it to the cart area. My God is way bigger than that, but what the cart dilemma does reveal to me is that I have started an old pattern of trying to live life as a “good Christian” instead of simply being one.

I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength. Phil 2:13

One Day Not Forever

My daughter was in a car wreck with my Mom about a year and a half ago. She was sitting in the backseat, my other little girl was in the front (older car, no airbags), when the accident took place. No one was injured, just bumps and bruises, but the car looked bad. When the ambulance arrived, the medics strapped everyone down to backboards and transported them to the hospital. This was the most traumatic part of the whole wreck.

Since that day, my daughter has been rather nervous riding in the car. She watches constantly out the window, flinching every time someone pulls out in front of us. She has become frightened in other areas of her life as well, and at times does not want to even ride her bike because she is afraid something might happen.

One day we were driving to ballet, and a truck turned at a light in front of us. There was never any danger of hitting the truck, or the truck hitting us, but my daughter gasped and said, “Why did he do that?”

I said, “He had plenty of room. It was fine that he turned at the light. It is okay, you don’t need to worry.”

I tried to hide my frustration, but I am sure a little of it came out. You see, for the past many months we have been comforting her, assuring her, and calming her down every time we ride with her in the car. It has gotten to the point that she is questioning our driving as well as the driving of everyone around us. Thankfully the Lord gave me wisdom instead of angry frustration to share with her.

As she asked why that truck turned in front of us, the fact that she has only been in one car accident entered my mind. I asked her to count the number of car accidents she has ever been a part of.

She said, “One.”

I then asked, “How old are you?”

She said, “Nine.”

I responded, “How many days a year do you ride in the car.”

She said, “About every day.”

Finally I said, “Well, there are about 365 days in a year, and you are nine. So, nine times 360 (taking off some for days not in the car), is 3240 days. You have had one day with one accident, so 3239 days have had no accidents, right?”

She said, “Right.”

I then asked, “So should you always be worrying you will have an accident or should you look at all the days you haven’t had an accident?"

I then heard her voice, lighter than I have heard it for a while, say, “Oh, but I am worried about the next time.”

I said, “Honey, don’t worry about the next time, think about all the times you haven’t been in a wreck. Think on those things.”

After our conversation, I realized that all of us tend to be like my little girl, at least some of the time. One painful event, one harmful person, one agonizing experience traps us. We wait, looking for that car that is going to hit us, all the while missing the hundreds of cars driving around us safely. We so want to be ready for the pain that we live the pain repeatedly hoping that will somehow help us avoid it the next time. We start obsessing, playing things out in our head, replaying the wreck and for some very strange reason we take comfort in doing so. Somehow we believe that we have control if we obsess because at least we have thought through every possible part of a bad situation, but in reality all we have done is imprisoned ourselves in a world of fear.

That is the exact opposite of what God wants from us and for us though.

Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all the other things will
be given to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will
worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matt. 6:33-34

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and might and a SOUND
MIND. 2 Tim 1:7

No matter how much we worry, obsess, or try to avoid pain, we can’t add one day to our lives. We can only live the moment we are in, and if we look up from our pain, our fear for long enough we might just be able to see the bigger picture of the life God has for us. Instead of reliving a painful time in our lives, we need to think about all the safe, good days we have lived. Sadly, we end up living in the past, worried about a future event that in all probability won’t happen. We focus on one wreck, and miss the other 3239 days of safety.

I pray that my little girl’s relieved, “Oh, but….” will be a move in the right direction, and that she can sit in the car like any other little girl and feel safe.

If there is a painful day that your life is centered around, I pray that you would count the number of your days and place those painful moments inside the context of your over all life. Wouldn’t it be so much better if we could see the world from that vantage point, instead of the prison bars we have allowed our past pain to build around us. Ask Jesus to set you free.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

How to Save a Life

I praise my God that in Christ there is forgiveness, restoration, and healing for not just our souls, but our relationships as well. If that were not the case, no relationship would ever last.

Related to this need for healing in friendship is a song by The Fray called How to Save a Life. I listen to it when I am struggling with someone in my life, and it reminds me of my own faults and the need to listen instead of trying to prove that I am right. Too often I believe that I am right, that I have the corner on the truth in any given situation, and don't take the time to see things from the other persons perspective.

And it is in that rightness the we most often hurt relationship, because pride dictates rightness not love. Love is actually absent when pride takes the lead. If we are concerned about the direction a friend is headed, about a choice they are making or have made, it is in humility that we need to approach them. But when we feel we are "right" we come to them in judgement, and we aren't going to "save" anyone that way.

The Fray song says, "As he goes left and you stay right...you begin to wonder why you came." And within these words conflict resides, and friend are turned into enemies. Instead of the path of rejection, in genuine friendship there needs to be less of a pull to the "right" and a bit more left leading, if that left means more listening, and less condemning.

The song, How to Save a Life, came from an experience the lead singer heard about while working at a youth counseling camp. "Slade [lead singer of band] claims that the song is about all of the people that tried to reach out to the boy [at the camp he was working at] but were unsuccessful. As Slade says in an interview, the boy's friends and family approached him by saying, "Quit [the problem behavior] or I won't talk to you again," but all he needed was some support. The verses of the song describe an attempt by an adult to confront a troubled teen. In the chorus, the singer laments that he himself was unable to save a friend because he did not know how." (Wikipedia)

Lyrics: How to Save a Life

Step one you say we need to talk, He walks, you say sit down it's just
a talk. He smiles politely back at you, you stare politely right on through.
some sort of window to your right. As he goes left and you stay right. Between
the lines of fear and blame you begin to wonder why you came.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.

Let him know that you know best cause after all you do know best. Try
to slip past his defense without granting innocence. Lay down a list of what is
wrong the things you've told him all along, and pray to God he hears you and
pray to God he hears you.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a
life.

As he begins to raise his voice, you lower yours and grant him one last
choice. Drive until you lose the road or break with the ones you've followed. He
will do one of two things he will admit to everything or he'll say he's just not
the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, somewhere along in the
bitterness and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save
a life.

Powerful visual of how we often interact with those we love, with those we deeply care for. We draw a line in the sand, and tell them it is our way or the high way. It is in bitterness instead of sincere compassion that we wrestle with one another, but I find great peace in knowing that my song ends much differently than that of The Fray.

I, like them, understand that I don't have the ability to save a life, nor a relationship. I am utterly helpless in this. Where I differ from their conclusion is in the fact that I know who does. Jesus knows How to Save a Life. He is the only one who does. Jesus does not come to us in rightness, nor judgement, nor condemnation nor in pride but instead He says:

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in
heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden
is light. Matt. 11:29-30

We too need to be gentle and humble in heart. If we are, then we will reveal to others Christ and in that we will be able to show them the only One who can save a life.

Good Company

Is there someone in your life that just makes you a better person? I mean when you are around them you learn what it means to live well. They do not just tell you what you are doing wrong (if they are a good friend they will tell you this occasionally), they tell you what you are doing right too. They live out their faith in a real and tangible way. They do not sit back and point their fingers at everyone else, because they realize how sinful they themselves are, but they do not use their own weakness as an excuse not to help others learn from their mistakes. They actually care about you, and your well-being. They are not in the relationship for what they can get out of it. They love you in an honest and real way.

When you spend time with them, you know that it is time well spent. You are inspired to live like them, and to learn from their example. They help you become a better wife, mother, daughter, friend and most of all follower of Christ. It seems that no matter whom they are with, they are godly, faithful, always pointing others to Jesus.You might wonder if you were left without them what you would do, what you would be like. When you do not get to spend large amounts of time with them, you feel like you are drifting away from where you need to be. You might doubt your own strength or heart.That is when you remember that Jesus gave you this person not as a replacement for Himself, but as an example of one totally devoted to Him, therefore a good example to follow. Just as Paul wrote to those he ministered to, “imitate me as I imitate Christ”, so too, if you have a friend like this, you have been given a modern day Paul to learn from. Know that no matter where you go, you will walk even closer to Jesus because such a faithful friend once guided you.

Lloyd recently said, each of us needs to have a Paul in our lives to walk ahead of us in faith as a guide. He then said that we also need someone to walk beside us, someone not ahead of us nor behind us in our maturity, but someone right with us in Jesus. Finally, he said that we need a Timothy to lead. Someone we are leading toward a deeper and more intimate relationship with Jesus.

I have often had overlapping friendships, where my friends and I trade places, sometimes we are walking side by side, other times they are holding my hand leading me in the right direction, and still other times I am leading them. The key to these relationships is that we are all looking in the same direction. No matter who is leading or who is following, we always have the set goal of walking together in pursuit of Jesus.

Who is your Paul, your Barnabas, your Timothy? Don’t take them for granted. They are gifts from God. Keep good company so that you might continue to grow in your faith and obedience. As you do that, you will be to someone else what your friend has been to you. You will become a good example for someone else, and one day they will imitate you, as you imitate Christ

Tonight my little girl had a tooth hanging by a thread that simply needed to be pulled. You know the kind of tooth that is actually sticking out between the lips even though the mouth is closed. She needed to let me pull it so she could eat, but when I tried to get my fingers around her tooth, she firmly closed her mouth into a thin line and I am pretty sure that even if I had a crowbar I wasn’t getting to that tooth. I gently talked to her, cajoled her, comforted her, spoke firmly to her, but to no avail. She would not obey my request to open her mouth. You see she was afraid.

She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and said, “Mommy I scared.” Those words hit my heart. I hugged her, said that it would be alright, that she didn’t need to be afraid. It wasn’t going to hurt any more than the last one had, but then she said, “But Mommy, the blood.” I kneeled down next to her and said, “It will be okay hunny, the bleeding will stop. Mommy loves you and I just want to help you.” She sat for a minute and then she looked up at me and said, “Okay Mommy.” Finally the locked jaw opened and she let me pull her tooth.

Why didn’t she just open up right away and let me do the simple task of removing her barely “there” tooth? You see, she hadn’t yet decided to trust me. Her desire for self-protection over road anything I could say or do. She had to decide to trust me. She had to come to the conclusion that I was going to do what was best for her even if it hurt a little. Once she did that she was able to surrender to my well meaning intentions. She realized that I loved her and would take care of her.

After she went to bed (with no pain and very little bleeding), it hit me that we are no different. We cry, kick, scream in order to keep our “loose tooth” intact when in all reality we would be much better off without it. Our “loose tooth” can be any number of things, maybe a ministry we need to let go of, a friendship that needs to change, a child we need to surrender, an unaccomplished goal that is stealing our joy, and our Father is kneeling beside us telling us it will be okay, that He loves us, that He will pull it out quickly, with only a little bit of blood being lost.

If we trust Him, we will let Him pull our “loose tooth”. Our desire for self-protection will be met once we understand that our Father is acting in our best interest. When we accept that He loves us and will take care of us, we can finally surrender, because He can be trusted. So, the next time you have to pull one of your little one’s teeth, consider what teeth are loose in your own life. Consider which tooth your Heavenly Father is trying to pull so something new, healthier and more solid can take its rightful place in your life.

Conflict Resolution

What patters do you display when you are in conflict with someone? I have set patterns, but those patterns change over time and I have different patterns with different people.

When my husband and I were first married, I was confrontational. I would pursue matters, argue, and try to draw him out. You see, he was the withdrawer then. Over the years however, we have traded styles of dealing with strife in our marriage. My husband moved toward direct confrontation and I began to avoid it, but I never fully gave up my right to stand and fight if I needed to make a point.

This system worked okay, I mean we are still married after 20 years, but now that our kids are older, we have both started to realize that it is not the best way to resolve issues. I have had godly woman after godly woman enter my life over the years, and each one has added to my understanding of how to be a woman who lives out her faith in the hardest of places, at home and more specifically within the confines of marriage. One of these women taught me a principle it has taken me 19 years to begin to grasp.

Her name was Judy Weston, and at the time, I was sure if pictures were in the Bible that hers would be the one to represent Proverbs 31. She homeschooled, was a quiet and gentle spirit, loved her husband with a sure yet submissive heart, and cared about other women, teaching them to care for their husbands and children. Okay, maybe her picture should have been in Titus 2 as well. Anyway, she taught a group of young married women, at our church in Sherwood, Arkansas, one key conflict resolution tactic that is sure to work. She taught us the “I” statement method of communication.

Judy was amazing at it. She would throw one after another out in class and we would all scratch our heads certain that we could never attain her style of mild, reserved discussion. Now, if you are not sure what I mean by “I” statement communication, I will give you a couple of scenarios of husband/wife conflict, with one said the negative way and the other in the positive “I” form.

Your husband continues to forget to put his underwear in the basket after he takes a shower. You find yourself constantly picking them up and wondering why. The dirty clothesbasket is three steps away from the shower door. You would like him to start putting them in the right place just to keep the mess down. You are starting to feel like his maid instead of his wife.

Negative: You are the biggest slob in the world. Have you lost all ability to pick up your own underwear? I am not your maid, so start to pick up your own dirty laundry.

Positive: I am starting to feel overwhelmed with the amount of clutter that seems to build up on a daily basis around the house. I am trying to cut down on the clutter in our bathroom lately. Do you have any ideas about a better system to help me out with this problem?

Your husband was short with you at a dinner party, and you were embarrassed. How should you address the subject?

Negative: You are such a jerk. How could you talk to me like that in front of all those people? Never talk to me that way again.

Positive: Honey, I was so hurt tonight after the way you spoke to me. I felt small and unloved. I know you would never mean to make me feel that way.

The “I” form is non-accusatorial. It conveys feelings, without attack. This method can still be quite strong, but it is far less likely to seem like an assault on the other person.

It has taken many years for me to learn how to speak in a positive way to my husband when I am upset. One of the best ways to make sure you are avoiding the negative form of addressing an issue is by removing yourself from a heated argument and taking time to think rather than to react.

Proverbs is filled with wonderful truths about how best to deal with conflict or tense situations. Her are just a few:

A gentle word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 15:1

Patience is better than power; controlling one’s temper than capturing
a city. 16:32

When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls
his lips is wise. 10:19.

Remember, it takes time and practice to learn how to work things out in the best way, so don’t feel discouraged when you mess up. I am no Judy Weston and I have now been married as long as Judy was at the time she was teaching all of us. I have learned the “I” form, but sadly, fail to use it a great deal of the time. I can thankfully see the change the Lord and the teaching of godly women have made in my life. I have moved from being confrontational to avoiding conflict to finally learning to resolve issues in a much godlier manner.

Impact of Image

Little do we know the impact our world has on our lives and the lives of our families. My husband and I tend to limit the exposure our children have to mass media. We monitor the things they watch, listen to and read, but there is only so much any of us can do to keep the world from them.

Jesus knew this. He did not pray that His disciples would be removed from the world. “I am not praying that You take them out of the world, but that You protect them from the evil one. They are not of this world, as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by the truth; Your Word is truth” (Jh. 17:14-15).

The need to pray these same words for my kids hit me last weekend. I was hanging out with the three of them in their room. They were playing all around me, but often times what happens when I am available to them is that the door for conversation about their hearts and lives opens up.

One of them said, “Mom, I have something to tell you. You might get mad at me though.”I responded, “Go ahead, I won’t get upset.”

She said, “Well, Mom when I look at pictures of other people I feel embarrassed by you. I think you aren’t as pretty.”

I said, “You mean like pictures in magazines or on TV?”

She said, “Ya, you don’t look as nice as they do.”

I wasn’t hurt for myself (parents are the pride of their children, Prov. 17:6), but instead for her. She is little noticing all kinds of things, and what is going to happen when she is thirteen and moves from comparing me to the women in magazines and starts to compare herself. I have had years of practice accepting myself (not always successfully), whereas she is just at the beginning. She has a standard of perfection she is holding me to, that no one will ever reach, not even the models in the magazines.

Thankfully thought the door for open, loving and safe communication is already there between us. My son and other daughter both opened up with all the same kind of feelings that their sister had just shared. We talked about the unreal expectation society projects…buff, ripped, muscles, perfect bodies, and unblemished faces.

I then shared with them the struggles actors and models face. I didn’t go into eating disorders, but we talked about steroids and plastic surgery, and what these things do to their bodies. Then we talked about their hearts. How people in these areas of life have such a huge focus on appearance that the slightest comment about their looks throws them into an unhealthy pattern of trying to reach perfection.

They seemed to get a little of this. Then we talked about what God looks at. That He looks at the heart not the outside like people do.

When I talked to Shon about the kids questions, he had them watch a YouTube video which shows a model at her most basic level, no makeup, hair not fixed, plain, and her transformation to a billboard super model. From her physical makeover in the studio to the computer makeover that moved her eyes, checks and the rest. We are in a visual society, and this visual made an impact that all my explanations never could.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcFlxSlOKNI

Romantic Adultery

In Matthew 5:27-28 Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Jesus was clearly addressing men in this portion of the Sermon on the Mount. He said that mentally taking a woman in a lustful way is no different than actually sleeping with her.

It is easy for us as women to AMEN the pastor who preaches Jesus’ words from Matthew 5. We shake our heads in agreement; as the men are told that they are sinning when they take that second look at the woman jogging down the street or consciously linger over the woman in a bikini at the pool, looking at her through their sunglasses. Our security, as women and wives, is stolen every time our husband stares at a magazine covered with the cleavage of some actress, while we stand next to him in line at the grocery store. When we hear the words of Jesus spoken to our men by the pastor on a Sunday morning, we feel protected. We are thankful someone is defending us against the sadness that arises in our hearts when we realize that we are not attractive enough to hold the gaze of the man we gave our lives to on the day we said, “I do.”

However, ladies, the message Jesus conveyed is not just for men. Sadly, when we hear it preached we rarely think of ourselves, our own moments of indiscretion, and our own thoughts of infidelity. We listen, all the while sitting next to our husbands in a “holier than thou” position, elbowing them in the ribs, giving them a sidelong glance, making sure they are taking in every word, all the while not hearing the Spirit move in our own hearts because we think we don’t have any issues in this area.

Every act of sin begins with a decision, so if a man takes that second look, he made a decision to take it, and at that moment, he chose to remove his wife from the center of his desire and put that other woman in her place.

In like manner, any time a woman romanticizes about a man other than her husband, she is choosing to replace her husband with a figment of her imagination. If she then allows that figment to live at the center of her affection, she will become more and more discontented with her own husband, and will either continue to live in the false romance of her mind or actually decide to seek out her dream man elsewhere.

To women, Jesus could have just as easily been saying, “You have heard it said, ‘You shall not commit adultery; but I say to you that every woman who willfully causes a man to look upon her with lust has already committed adultery in her heart; whoever talks about how hot the guy in the movie she just watched with her girlfriends, has already committed adultery in her heart; whoever dreams she is married to the character in the novel she is reading instead of to her husband has already committed adultery in her heart; whoever flirts with men in order to feel good about herself, has already committed adultery in her heart….”

Mental adultery is just as real for woman as it is for their male counter-parts, but it does not always manifest itself in the same way. Don’t get me wrong, we notice attractive men, and in our modern day world, of visual stimulation and coed living, we women have become predators in our own right. Equality does not simply mean equal pay for equal work anymore. No, it means catcalls, crude comments, hitting on men, and making a big deal about the hot guy who walked by the window at work. Women now watch television or movies and notice the physique of the male lead just as much as his caring demeanor.

Once, men like Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, and Jimmy Stewart captured the hearts of female audiences, but now being sincere, strong and caring is not enough. Leading men have to be as “beautiful” as their female costars.

Women also know that their physical appearance draws attention. We like to be looked at, and when that desire to be noticed becomes the focus, well anything goes.

This is where we cause men to stumble the most. If we understood how much of a draw we are to them, how God created them to be stimulated through sight, we would make different choices in how we dress and how we act. Instead of just the tank top, we would put a jacket on over it. Instead of a bikini, we would wear a one-piece suit. Instead of the low cut blouse, we would wear a crewneck top.When we draw the knowing look, the lingering stare, we have achieved our goal of being worshipped, but in so doing, we have caused a man to commit adultery. When looked at in those terms, we might just decide to dress for our husbands and please them, leaving all the other men to be pleased by their own wives.Add to this heightened sense of sight and physical awareness, a woman’s desire for romance, and the door for adulterous thoughts is thrown wide open.

Romance for a woman is not simply candy, flowers and romantic midnight strolls. It is a man who loves her unconditionally, provides for her physically and emotionally, protects her heart as well as her life, and willingly lays down his life for her on a daily basis. The problem is that this romantic hero does not exist, well he does exist, he is just not human, so what tends to happen to most women with this fictional version of their dream man is disappointment. Too often we, as women, allow fictional characters to place an unrealistic version of the real thing into our minds and hearts. So, when our husbands come home from work, throw their clothes on the floor, sprawl out in the recliner, turn on ultimate fighting, and ask us what’s for dinner, our romantic and real worlds collide, and if we aren’t careful, the romantic version will win out and replace the real thing.

The act of adultery begins in the mind, but the spark arises in the heart. It is the location of our romantic sensibilities, and out of it flows the issues of life. Whatever we have been holding onto, meditating on, allowing to enter into our feelings, will flow from our hearts into our minds. Once we have given into our own selfish desires, there is little to stop us moving forward with something we never thought we were capable of doing.

No matter how discrete we believe ourselves to be, we are still hurting our spouse, ourselves and the heart of God, when we choose to allow another person to come between us and our mate, no matter how real that other person may or may not be.Jesus finished up his warning on lustful thoughts by saying, “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

So, if Jack Bauer (24), Jack Shephard (Lost), Tom Wells (Smallville), Hugh Jackman, or Christian Bale causes lust to build up in you, cut them off. If the gym makes you look at other men, stop going. If you are fantasizing about your kid’s teacher or your friend’s husband, then stop spending time with them. If Facebook connected you with an old boyfriend, whose marriage just fell apart, do not accept his friend request. If the book series you are reading causes you to create a fake man to be in love with, throw it away. It is better to lose some money, experience rejection, miss some entertainment, or gain some weight after quitting the gym than to suffer the consequence for your lustful decision.

Our husbands aren’t stupid. They are one with us, so even if we are simply daydreaming about another man, they will know and there will be pain in our marriages.In the end, mental adultery is not about our husbands, it does affect them, but it is not about them. No, when we are lusting for other men, the real problem is our relationship with Jesus. Romantic or visual lust is sin, and all sin is rebellion against God, so, when we struggle with impure thoughts, we know our heart is not right. We have taken our focus off our Savior and placed it on ourselves. Self-focus leads to self-gratification, but there is no such thing as self-gratification, we always want more.

Truly, what we are looking for cannot be found nor met by a man. The desire to be loved unconditionally, provided for physically and emotionally, to have our hearts as well as our lives protected and cared for by someone who willingly laid down his life for us can only be found in Jesus.

Good Gift

I laid aside a cute t-shirt and pair of shorts for my little girl. We were planning a wonderful day with friends, to celebrate her birthday, and I knew that she would want to look her best. I didn’t tell her about the outfit because I wanted it to be a surprise. I desired to take care of her without her having to ask. I did this out of love.


I was not able to keep the secret long though. My strong willed, "let’s make everything perfect" little girl asked me if she could wear a dress for our special day. My heart sank. I thought to say yes, but knew I had something new for her, something she would like (at least I hoped she would like), so I decided to say no to the dress.

She did not think this was the best answer, so she flopped on her bed in her most upset way, and started to cry. I was hurt, not wanting to spoil the surprise, but wanting her to understand I had something better for her. I told her to stop crying. In the hope of encouraging her heart, I let her know I had something new for her. Sadly, this did not please her either. She covered her ears, cried a hurt cry rather than her angry rant from earlier and said, “Mom, I don’t want you to tell me.”

I shook my head thinking, what in the world am I going to do with you. I then explained to her that her demand to get her own way ruined her present. She lost the joy of waking up to a new outfit because she couldn’t accept my "no". She quieted, accepting my words and settled down into her bed.

She received her new clothes in the morning, but miss out on the moment of surprise. The one that can only come when what you are experiencing is unexpected.

Her demand is really no different than our own. We work to make everything just "right", only to miss out on the amazing thing that could have won our hearts had we trusted the outcome to our Heavenly Father. His ways are so much better than ours. He has surprises all around us, to bring us joy and excitement, but we end up ruining their beauty because we can’t wait and we throw a fit to make sure we have our expectations met.

Our Father then presents us with His better way, and we are saddened because we wish He would have waited. In hindsight, we would have rather had it in His time. We end up hurting His loving heart, as well as our own selfish one, because we couldn’t believe that anyone could or would take care of our needs better than we ourselves could.

God doesn’t always show us our present right away. He wants to build expectation within us, so that He can surprise us with just the right thing at just the right moment. He desires to take care of us without us even having to ask. He does this because He loves us.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he
asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know
how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in
heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matt. 7:9-11

The next time you are praying and get a “No” to one of your requests, try to avoid throwing yourself on the bed and pouting. Decide to trust that your Father loves you and has just the right "outfit" picked out for just the right moment. If you don’t wait, you might miss out on the joy that goes along with the gift He laid out just for you.

Esther Principle

Yesterday, was the day before payday at my house. It is always somewhat tense when the last paycheck is gone and you are waiting for the next one. It was also the day I picked up the APS bill (electric bill) from the mailbox. If you live in Arizona, you know that my two-week tension was on overdrive as I opened the electric bill.

I slid my finger along the slit of the envelope, and held my breath as I pulled the bill from its walls. I closed my eyes, whispered a prayer, and as my eyes focused on the black print, I gasped at the three-digit number that was staring me in the face. The kids all heard the gasp and came running toward me. My son ran off after hearing the frightening news to make sure every light and fan was off in the house. Then we all stood there staring at the number, not knowing what number would be on the paycheck we were waiting for.

My husband was at work, so he did not get to share in the “excitement” of the moment. Usually at these times of wonderful stress, I feel the need to share my concerns with my husband, or should I say share my panic-stricken cries. But yesterday I actually listened to the Lord. I waited, and I prayed.

Now the paycheck amount was already determined, it just had to be issued, but I prayed anyway. Then I started the “figuring” game. If this amount comes in, I will be able to tithe, I can pay these bills, set this amount aside for food and gas (a lot larger amount than I had to set aside a few months ago), and that is it. I looked at the figures on my paper and shook my head. I know things come up, things that need to be taken care of, and it was going to be tight with that enormous electric bill suspended over my head.

My husband called and visited with me for a while, and the upset feelings about the APS bill came flooding in, past my throat, over my tongue, and finally through my teeth, but my lips held fast. I didn’t blurt out $418. I knew I needed to tell him sometime, but not then, not until we saw what our check looked like. Then we could come up with a game plan together. When we hung up, I blew the air I had been holding in my lungs out, and went back to my coupons.

The next morning I checked our bank account, and cried. The Lord knew what our APS bill was going to be even before it was written. He knew our need and met it. I thanked Him for providing for me, and as soon as my husband was up, I thanked him for all his hard work. He just said, “It’s not me, it’s God.”

And I said, “Ya, I know. I already thanked Him, and wanted to thank you too.” Then I asked him, “Did you see the APS bill?”

He said, “Yes,” with a sigh but not anxiety or worry. Had I told him the night before he saw his paycheck, he would have been upset at work, thinking of ways to make more money, and he would not buy something he really needed for work. At that moment I saw a tangible reason as to why it is always good to wait and to pray.

That is where the Esther Principle comes in. Queen Esther needed to bring a tense issue to the King. She didn’t want to have to talk to him about it, because it had to do with his closest advisor. She was sure that he would side with this man over her, but finally realized that no matter what she had to do the right thing.

She didn’t run into the Kings chamber, crying, overcome with fear. Instead, she prayed. She took three days to fast, to deny herself, and make her body submit to her will, training herself to make her emotions submit in the same way. Following her time of fasting, Esther (endangering her life) asked the King to a banquet, along with his royal advisor. She served her King, met his needs and did not throw her problems before him.

Esther finally chose the right time to tell the King of her need and of the needs of a large group of his people. She invited him again to eat with her, and as he sat with her, he asked her if she needed anything (he had done the same things the night before and that is when she invited him to dine with her again), and at this point she handed her need to her husband. She told him of the evils his advisor was planning to carry out throughout his kingdom.

Esther no longer had to carry the burden of this wicked plan alone. Her husband was there to care for her in her time of need, but was not overwhelmed by her emotions in the process. Esther took time to gain God’s perspective on her need, and was then able to pass that same perspective to her husband, to her King. The King did not side with his royal advisor. He took up the cause of his wife and saved her life as well as the life of thousands of people.

Just like Esther, we can go to our husbands with issues that are of great concern to our families, or to us. We need to remember that we should first go to our Father. He will grant us the peace we need in those times, so that we can share our need without overwhelming everyone around us. . When we present hard things to others, with God’s perspective, those things won’t dominate our lives or our relationships.

We, like Esther, need to fast and pray so that we train our bodies as well as our emotions to submit to the peace and patience of God. We need to wait and pray, “then the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, our Lord.”
If you want to learn more about Esther and her amazing story, check out the book of Esther. It is a short read, but one that holds a powerful message of obedience as well as God’s provision for His people.

Lordship

Is there this sin that just seems to haunt you? No matter how hard you try you just can’t get away from it, can’t stop doing it, and pray constantly for the Lord to save you from it? You’re not alone. I am right there with you…praying, wrestling, hoping, failing and falling into discouragement, recovering and fighting again.

All of us sin. John said if someone doesn’t admit that they sin that they are a liar and that there is no truth in them. So the fact that you recognize your need to stop doing what you are doing is a good thing.

The other night, my son and I were talking. He was struggling with an issue that he just can’t seem to beat. He was feeling very ashamed, and condemned for something he did. I realized that I needed to help him out of the place of self-loathing he was in and lead him into forgiveness and healing. So, we started off in Romans 8, where Paul says that there is no condemnation in Christ. Meaning, no matter who you are, or what you have done, if you belong to Jesus, you have been set free from the judgment that comes with sin.


Of course, I had to explain to my son what condemnation means. I took him over to Romans 7:18-19. In those verses, Paul revealed his own weakness to the Romans. He told them that he wanted to do what was good, but he couldn’t, and he tried to stop doing what was wrong but he couldn’t seem to do that either. Even the greatest of apostles was human and had to deal with the reality of having a nature that was born to sin.


But the thing that made Paul so amazing was that he KNEW he was totally, absolutely forgiven for every sin he had committed and for everyone he would commit. He knew that he had been set free from the law of sin (that nature that was born to sin) and of death by Jesus. Paul could freely confess his weakness to the Romans, while at the same time telling them that he wasn’t condemned, because he knew that Jesus had defeated the sin in his life and he stood before God forgiven and clean. That is what no condemnation means…whole and clean before God. My son started to physically relax as I shared with him this truth. He was finding acceptance, love and rest in the forgiveness that can only be found in Jesus.


At the same time though, I told him that he still needed to confess his sin. He needed to talk to God and say he was sorry for what he had done. Trying to hide it and feeling ashamed only put up a wall that kept him from feeling safe with God, feeling forgiven. I remembered 1 John 1:9 and told him that as soon as we tell God our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (not meeting His standard of right). So we prayed. And as I prayed out loud for my son to repeat after me, I said something that really hit my heart. I said, “Dear Father, save us from our sin.”


And He said, “I have already done that. I paid for them on the cross, and you were saved when you surrendered your life to Me. When you get tied to a sin, you don’t need to be saved from it. You have chosen to make it the focus of your life, and have replaced my Lordship with its. I am your Savior, I am also Lord of all creation, but when you are sinning over and over again, that proves that I am not Lord in your life.” I stopped praying with my son, and said, “WOW”. I am praying the wrong way. I am asking God to do for me what He has already done, and expecting Him to rescue me from something I have replaced Him with. Jesus never forces himself on us. If we chose to worship something or someone else, He lets us…with a broken heart He waits for us to return to Him. The confession John talks about in 1 John reestablishes Jesus as the head of our lives. When we admit we have a problem, when we admit we are sinning, when we come to Jesus and say we are sorry, we are taking whatever we were worshipping off its pedestal and focusing our attention on Jesus, who was never off of His.


All sin is derived from a self focus, when we love ourselves with all our heart, all our mind, all our soul and all our strength.


If you are struggling with a sin that seems to dominate your life, pray but don’t ask for God to save you from it. Instead surrender your heart, soul, mind and strength to Jesus, and He will set you free because you have allowed Him to be Lord as well as the Savior of your life.

Seeking

I was visiting with a friend of my mom’s today; well actually, she is also a friend of mine. She is recovering from surgery, and is headed home from rehab tomorrow. She is a great lady, who has been going through some really hard physical trials. While recovering from her latest test, she confessed that she wasn’t as “godly” as she wished she would have been will being in the hospital.

As she was sharing with Mom and me, she talked about different nurses coming in to check on her. How there were a few of them who would see her reading a devotion or her Bible and stop and ask her what she was reading. Those who were believers would get a chance to share a moment of fellowship openly with her, praising God or giving Jesus glory. I am sure others, who were not followers, still respected her devotion to her faith.

Our witness is to be real, and sometimes when we are real, we might be a bit testy, or upset, but that actually helps people see that we aren’t playing at our faith or putting on a show. The Jew in the Shakespeare play, “Merchant of Venice” says at one point, “if you cut me, do I not bleed.” Meaning, just because I am a Jew doesn’t mean that I am not human. So too, Christians hurt, they bleed, they laugh, they cry, they live as humans, yes fallen humans, that have the hope of one day living with Jesus without their sinful natures.

My friend might not always be the best patient, nor the kindest wife, nor the most gracious person, but what she always is, is a sincere follower of Christ. I know that even in her most trying times, when she is struggling with her attitude that she is still seeking Jesus. And when that moment of impatience passes , I know that she is openly confessing her attitude to the Lord; asking not only for His forgiveness, but for His strength to be more like Jesus the next time.

It is this seeking, this asking, this confessing that God is looking for. He knows that we are just dust, that we are never in this life going to be perfect, nor superhuman, nor little gods. It is not our trying, nor our working, nor our attempts at perfection that please God, but instead our seeking.

“Without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God.

For we must believe that He exists

and that He rewards those who earnestly SEEK Him.”

(Heb. 11:3)

It isn’t the doing everything just right, that pleases Him, it is the believing in Him, that makes Him happy. And I have to say I am soooooo absolutely thankful for that, because I will never attain perfection in this world, and this causes me to look forward to eternity so much more than if I thought I could work things out here.

When I read faith, the kind of faith that pleases God, includes believing that He REWARDS those who seriously seek Him, so much of His Word, and the Christian life made sense. Often times we look at men like Abraham, Jacob, Moses, and David and wonder how they could be the best of the best. They carry such titles as “friend of God”; “Israel”; “most humble man”; and “a man after God’s own heart,” even though they all committed HUGE sins: lying, murder, manipulation, adultery and the list goes on and on. However, when seen in the light of Hebrews 11:3, their lives of faith, their titles, their place in the Hall of Faith found in Hebrews 11 makes total sense. They were human, they messed up, they fell short of God, but each and every one of them BELIEVED that God was real, that He REWARDS those who earnestly SEEK HIM.

Now some of you will say we are told in Scripture to be “perfect, as I am perfect.” This is true, as those who have surrendered their lives to Christ, we are called to live set apart lives, to be holy. The desire to be holy “set apart for a higher purpose” is there within each of us. That is why when we behave badly we run to the Lord in confession. It is the Holy Spirit of God pressing on our chest every time we break God’s moral law. It is that same Holy Spirit that seals us until the day of Christ and makes us holy. He does the perfecting so we don’t have to.

My friend is one of these seekers, just like my Mom, and countless other women I know, who please God because of their faith. They not only believe, but they live for Jesus. They fulfill Matthew 6:33, which says, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things (needs as well as rewards) shall be added unto you.”

Do not expect human “perfection” from yourself, or from anyone else you know, just live out your life in faith, and trust our God with the perfecting.

Not the Nose, but the Heart

Well, what I have finally realized after 10 years of experience is that our kids are probably harder on us than anyone else. They learn tact, graciousness, self-control, and mercy all from us. We are, in the end, their test subjects.

The other day my son proceeded to tell me that I have a large nose. Now, this is not a new concept to me. I have my grandfather’s Italian genes and apparently the Italian nose is a stronger gene than any other. My Mom and Aunt both inherited it, so when I grew up it was the family joke to say that we had “The Nose”.

I thought that I had let my nose obsession go, what with being married and having three kids, but as I have been thinking about it, I realized it seems to always be just at the back of my mind. A couple of years ago, one of my friends was taking pictures at our women's retreat. I told her not to take any profile shots of me, only shots that were straight at my face. When she asked, “why?” I said, “The Nose”. So, when I say I let the nose issue go, what I mean is that I don’t think about getting a nose job as often as I once did. Well that is until two weeks ago.

About that time, my son leaned over in his bed to kiss me (he sleeps on the top bunk), and said, "Watch so the nose doesn’t poke me. You know your nose it pretty long." He has teased me about this for a while, but for some reason that one really hit the core of my self-esteem. I went to the bathroom, looked at myself from every angle and said, “Yep, he is right, it is pretty big.” Then when I took a shower I realized my breasts have shrunk over the years (they will be non-existent by the time I am 50), but that my nose is forever.

Following the shower, I started trying to talk myself down from the plastic surgery ledge. You know, “Lord thank you for my nose. I know you gave it to me for a reason. I am sure it is there to keep me humble, Lord. I got the short and petite gene from my grandma, I guess it was too much to ask to get her little, lovely nose too.” When my prayer wasn't working for me, I decided to do what any self-respecting woman, who is hoping to be a speaker/writer in the Christian world would do, I went and checked out the noses of other speakers/writers who have “made it”.

Of course, when I aim, I aim high, so I looked up Beth Moore’s picture and checked out her nose. You see she has the nose obsession too. I have heard her make fun of her nose often, so it was a comfort to think I might be in her same boat. I looked at a lot of her pictures though, and I am pretty convinced that she shouldn't be at all concerned about “The Nose”.

After reflecting on my own pride, and checking out the pictures, I started to be less concerned about my nose. Not because Beth has a nose like mine, but because I began to see her heart. She is a beautiful woman, but her true beauty rests in the Spirit of God that shines through her every word. You see, if you have ever listened to Beth teach, you know that she has a broken and contrite spirit which are pleasing to the Lord. I realized that is what I wanted, to please the Lord.

My nose, my eyes, my ears, even my breasts matter little to the spirit within me. I rest in the body my Father has given me, because my purpose is not to be beautiful, but to have a heart that earnestly seeks Him.

So if you struggle with body image, know that the Lord loves you, and "He does not see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7