My daughter was in a car wreck with my Mom about a year and a half ago. She was sitting in the backseat, my other little girl was in the front (older car, no airbags), when the accident took place. No one was injured, just bumps and bruises, but the car looked bad. When the ambulance arrived, the medics strapped everyone down to backboards and transported them to the hospital. This was the most traumatic part of the whole wreck.Since that day, my daughter has been rather nervous riding in the car. She watches constantly out the window, flinching every time someone pulls out in front of us. She has become frightened in other areas of her life as well, and at times does not want to even ride her bike because she is afraid something might happen.
One day we were driving to ballet, and a truck turned at a light in front of us. There was never any danger of hitting the truck, or the truck hitting us, but my daughter gasped and said, “Why did he do that?”
I said, “He had plenty of room. It was fine that he turned at the light. It is okay, you don’t need to worry.”
I tried to hide my frustration, but I am sure a little of it came out. You see, for the past many months we have been comforting her, assuring her, and calming her down every time we ride with her in the car. It has gotten to the point that she is questioning our driving as well as the driving of everyone around us. Thankfully the Lord gave me wisdom instead of angry frustration to share with her.
As she asked why that truck turned in front of us, the fact that she has only been in one car accident entered my mind. I asked her to count the number of car accidents she has ever been a part of.
She said, “One.”
I then asked, “How old are you?”
She said, “Nine.”
I responded, “How many days a year do you ride in the car.”
She said, “About every day.”
Finally I said, “Well, there are about 365 days in a year, and you are nine. So, nine times 360 (taking off some for days not in the car), is 3240 days. You have had one day with one accident, so 3239 days have had no accidents, right?”
She said, “Right.”
I then asked, “So should you always be worrying you will have an accident or should you look at all the days you haven’t had an accident?"
I then heard her voice, lighter than I have heard it for a while, say, “Oh, but I am worried about the next time.”
I said, “Honey, don’t worry about the next time, think about all the times you haven’t been in a wreck. Think on those things.”
After our conversation, I realized that all of us tend to be like my little girl, at least some of the time. One painful event, one harmful person, one agonizing experience traps us. We wait, looking for that car that is going to hit us, all the while missing the hundreds of cars driving around us safely. We so want to be ready for the pain that we live the pain repeatedly hoping that will somehow help us avoid it the next time. We start obsessing, playing things out in our head, replaying the wreck and for some very strange reason we take comfort in doing so. Somehow we believe that we have control if we obsess because at least we have thought through every possible part of a bad situation, but in reality all we have done is imprisoned ourselves in a world of fear.
That is the exact opposite of what God wants from us and for us though.
Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all the other things will
be given to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will
worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matt. 6:33-34
God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and might and a SOUND
MIND. 2 Tim 1:7
No matter how much we worry, obsess, or try to avoid pain, we can’t add one day to our lives. We can only live the moment we are in, and if we look up from our pain, our fear for long enough we might just be able to see the bigger picture of the life God has for us. Instead of reliving a painful time in our lives, we need to think about all the safe, good days we have lived. Sadly, we end up living in the past, worried about a future event that in all probability won’t happen. We focus on one wreck, and miss the other 3239 days of safety.
I pray that my little girl’s relieved, “Oh, but….” will be a move in the right direction, and that she can sit in the car like any other little girl and feel safe.
If there is a painful day that your life is centered around, I pray that you would count the number of your days and place those painful moments inside the context of your over all life. Wouldn’t it be so much better if we could see the world from that vantage point, instead of the prison bars we have allowed our past pain to build around us. Ask Jesus to set you free.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
