Well, what I have finally realized after 10 years of experience is that our kids are probably harder on us than anyone else. They learn tact, graciousness, self-control, and mercy all from us. We are, in the end, their test subjects.The other day my son proceeded to tell me that I have a large nose. Now, this is not a new concept to me. I have my grandfather’s Italian genes and apparently the Italian nose is a stronger gene than any other. My Mom and Aunt both inherited it, so when I grew up it was the family joke to say that we had “The Nose”.
I thought that I had let my nose obsession go, what with being married and having three kids, but as I have been thinking about it, I realized it seems to always be just at the back of my mind. A couple of years ago, one of my friends was taking pictures at our women's retreat. I told her not to take any profile shots of me, only shots that were straight at my face. When she asked, “why?” I said, “The Nose”. So, when I say I let the nose issue go, what I mean is that I don’t think about getting a nose job as often as I once did. Well that is until two weeks ago.
About that time, my son leaned over in his bed to kiss me (he sleeps on the top bunk), and said, "Watch so the nose doesn’t poke me. You know your nose it pretty long." He has teased me about this for a while, but for some reason that one really hit the core of my self-esteem. I went to the bathroom, looked at myself from every angle and said, “Yep, he is right, it is pretty big.” Then when I took a shower I realized my breasts have shrunk over the years (they will be non-existent by the time I am 50), but that my nose is forever.
Following the shower, I started trying to talk myself down from the plastic surgery ledge. You know, “Lord thank you for my nose. I know you gave it to me for a reason. I am sure it is there to keep me humble, Lord. I got the short and petite gene from my grandma, I guess it was too much to ask to get her little, lovely nose too.” When my prayer wasn't working for me, I decided to do what any self-respecting woman, who is hoping to be a speaker/writer in the Christian world would do, I went and checked out the noses of other speakers/writers who have “made it”.
Of course,
when I aim, I aim high, so I looked up Beth Moore’s picture and checked out her nose. You see she has the nose obsession too. I have heard her make fun of her nose often, so it was a comfort to think I might be in her same boat. I looked at a lot of her pictures though, and I am pretty convinced that she shouldn't be at all concerned about “The Nose”.
when I aim, I aim high, so I looked up Beth Moore’s picture and checked out her nose. You see she has the nose obsession too. I have heard her make fun of her nose often, so it was a comfort to think I might be in her same boat. I looked at a lot of her pictures though, and I am pretty convinced that she shouldn't be at all concerned about “The Nose”. After reflecting on my own pride, and checking out the pictures, I started to be less concerned about my nose. Not because Beth has a nose like mine, but because I began to see her heart. She is a beautiful woman, but her true beauty rests in the Spirit of God that shines through her every word. You see, if you have ever listened to Beth teach, you know that she has a broken and contrite spirit which are pleasing to the Lord. I realized that is what I wanted, to please the Lord.
My nose, my eyes, my ears, even my breasts matter little to the spirit within me. I rest in the body my Father has given me, because my purpose is not to be beautiful, but to have a heart that earnestly seeks Him.
So if you struggle with body image, know that the Lord loves you, and "He does not see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
