I have this never-ending battle with myself every time I leave the grocery store pushing a cart. Do I walk the ten yards to the cart return area, or do I leave the cart parked nicely in a place that leaves room for others to park their cars? There are times that the “park the cart” voice wins out. It usually prevails when I am in a hurry, tired or just kind of in a bad mood.The “return the cart” voice is usually the stronger of the two voices, however. It has a much bigger hammer. That voice motivates through guilt, saying such things as, “Well, if you leave the cart here, the wind might blow it into another car causing damage “or “You are the one always complaining about how bad the Wal-mart parking lot looks when everyone leaves their carts everywhere”. But, the most effective argument of all says, “A good Christian would walk the extra few steps to ensure that they don’t hurt their testimony, and who knows who is watching, maybe the cart attendant will be blessed and come to Jesus because you did the right thing.”
You can see why the “return” voice wins out most of the time. My decision to return the cart to its proper place could determine someone’s eternal destiny, so I HAVE to return it to the correct drop-off location.
As I write these words, I have to shake my head and laugh. Too often, I am driven by guilt instead of the motivator that should guide every step of my life, love. Love for Jesus should be my greatest motivation but sadly, it is not. No, the strongest motivation in my life tends to be vain conceit.
I was considering why this is the case; not just for me but for all human beings. We all do the things that we do for our personal good. Honestly, are we ever truly selfless, or are we always looking out for our best interests, even when we do the right thing.
Jesus knew the answer to that question. He nailed humanity. He knew that we could not even do the kindest act without looking for praise. He told His disciples, when they gave not to let their left hand know what their right was doing.
He explained that if they were going to fast in order to have deeper fellowship with the Father that they should not make a big deal out of it. They shouldn’t walk around the city moaning or complaining, looking all pitiful, drawing attention to themselves for being so pious. Jesus said, “If you’re going to fast, wash your face, comb your hair, put on clean clothes and don’t tell anyone what you’re doing.”
Can you believe it; we even become proud when we pray. Jesus taught that we should not hang out all day offering these long-winded prayers for everyone to hear, but if we really wanted to pray that we should stay home, in our closet, shut the door and pray with no one around to hear. We should actually talk to God, not just look holy, we should actually be holy.
Jesus knew/knows our hearts. He knows that we do not tend to do anything without thinking about what we will get out of it. How our actions will benefit us.
We are taught some wonderful life principles in church, like not stealing, cheating, lying. We are instructed to forgive, to give, and to care for others, but if we do these things simply because we want to live as “good Christians” we have missed the point. It is not out of self-preservation that we should apply these precepts to our lives. We should not try to live as outstanding citizens simply to be outstanding citizens, because if we are doing that then all we want is glory and honor for ourselves. If we live as Christians, so we appear to be Christians, then we are no different from the Pharisees Jesus confronted. They “looked” good on the outside, but Jesus called them “white washed tombs”. We too can appear as if we have it all together on the outside, yet be empty or devoid of true righteousness (rightness before God).
If, however, our motivation comes from loving Jesus, wanting to please Him, then we would not wrestle nearly as much as we do with doing the right thing. Our focus, our heartbeat would be to bring Him glory and honor, not ourselves. We would not look over our shoulder to see who was watching us park the cart, because we KNOW who lives within us and whom we serve. Jesus as our center does not leave much room for self.
So, the next time you’re struggling with something, you might want to check your motives. Are you struggling because of some wrong desire within yourself, the desire to appear to be something or someone? The problem with checking our own motives is the fact that, “The heart is deceitful above all else, who can know it?”
We cannot even know our own hearts, our own motivations, and that is why the Psalmist in Psalm 139:23-24 said, “Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Only our God can reveal to us our motivation, and only He can give us the right one; one that draws attention to Him and not ourselves.
I figure that the cart attendant's salvation does NOT depend on my decision to nicely park the cart or return it to the cart area. My God is way bigger than that, but what the cart dilemma does reveal to me is that I have started an old pattern of trying to live life as a “good Christian” instead of simply being one.
I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength. Phil 2:13
